Why does it hurt so much?

***** broke my heart, stole my money, Cussed out my entire family, Bangin dudes left and right, doing drugs and yet I'm still missing her and feeling heartbroken. Back in the day, I'd have just kicked her *** to the curb and moved on to the next without another thought. Me and my friends used to make fun of Love struck schmucks like me.whats my problem? Am I just more attached cuz i'm getting older, or was this really the love of my life? No **** talkers please. I need some real input.